Adventures in Women's Studies: Purity-Mongers Strike Again

Earlier this week, I guest lectured in a Gender and Pop Culture class using the research I did for my honors thesis--the Duggars, Quiverfull, purity movements, and the like. It went quite well as usual, and we ended the class by watching the new 45 minute documentary of Jessica Valenti's The Purity Myth. She analyzes the obsession with a woman's purity and how this in fact sexualizes women and girls even more by placing their entire worth between their legs. Excellent watching. Find a way to view it.

In any case, it just so happens that Valenti was also just on Anderson Cooper debating with Randy Wilson, who is the male half of the couple that created the infamous Purity Balls, ample footage of which can be found on you tube. The usual arguments were made (brilliantly on Valenti's part, weak and insane on Wilson's in my humble opinion), and much merriment was had by all the feminists. Then they discussed a you tube vlog that went viral at the end of last year, posted by a 13-year-old Canadian girl about slut shaming.

Slut Shaming: the act of shaming a woman as a slut for her actual or perceived sexual activity based on rumor, attire, or knowledge of her personal life; most important to note is that it is solely aimed at women

She should be explaining this to a majority of the grown women I know. She breaks down how it contributes to sexism and rape culture and basically does the universe a service by putting this out there for her audience. The after-show "continued discussion" featured several audience members quietly losing their shit over how this 13-year-old was discussing sex and sluts. "She's so young." "She's advocating sex at 13." "She's too young to know anything about this." Okay, I usually have some issues with the current youth movement's insistence on supporting youth rights as extensively as they do. Don't get me wrong. I do think that young adults should be taken seriously, but they are still young adults, which means they do still need guidance and not all of them are as capable and mature as the movement would have you think. However, this girl is obviously quite knowledgeable, and the fact of the matter is that she never advocated sex for 13-year-olds. Not once. She never said she was having sex. Not once. She never even said that all her friends were having sex. Again, not once. What she advocated was well-informed, consensual, safe sex for those who are mentally and physically prepared to deal with the act and its possible consequences--an excellent thing to stump for as far as I can see. These women (and notice that it was only women) who basically attacked her mentally blocked everything she said except "have sex," instantaneously morphing a mature, well-thought-out, brilliant message that should be standard fare in any household into a blanket endorsement of child sex. In the process, they absolutely lost the message, one that they would have done well to absorb. There are kids having sex at 13 (and younger in some cases), and they have internalized the larger culture's ideals that a woman having sex at any age is a slut but a man is a stud. This is not new, but it is still a problem and needs to be addressed as such by women of all ages.

Valenti's main argument is that by focusing our attention completely on whether or not a girl or woman has had sex or not is painting her as nothing more than a sexual creature, which is exactly what the purity movements claim that larger society does and what they claim to be fighting by shoving the purity ideal down the throats of people at every turn. What they need to understand is that no one is attacking the idea of not having sex. That's fine. But they also need to understand that they need to stop attacking the idea of having it, which is also fine. A woman is not only the area between her legs, not just the number of times she's been intimate, and not solely the length of time she remains celibate; she is a complex creature with wants and needs every bit as important as her sexual activity or lack thereof. In short, can we please start telling our daughters and sons that the body is an amazing thing that houses the wonders of the mind and soul, which are truly the markers of a person's worth, and that there are better things to worry about than how many times the kid in the next row has or has not done the deed.

The Jesus Rede?: In Which a Pagan Considers the Seeming Impossibility of Christo-Paganism

Quite frequently, I stumble onto a topic that fascinates me, and then I devote inordinate amounts of time and energy pulling it apart. This is how the entire Quiverfull honors thesis occurred. Last night I watched The 19th Wife, a murder mystery about fundamentalist Mormons in polygamist marriages, and it sparked the long ignored desire to learn more about Mormonism in general. I already have the list of books ready. By the same token, a search for a long-forgotten novel about witches in a swamp randomly pulled up a list of books about, of all things, Christian Paganism. After posting a short status on it on Facebook, there ensued a civilized discussion about and wondering over the topic. Of course, someone interjected that they believe that the amalgamation is a natural progression for someone raised in a Christian background, then stated the use of statues of the Virgin Mary in some Pagan ritual. *sigh*

Okay, I have a small Mary on my altar. While I spent my youth among the pews of various Protestants, I was never really Catholic, but I recognize that Mary is truly an altered version of the Goddesses of old. She was the Christian face of Isis and Cerridwen and so many others, and this is why she sits among Kwan Yin and Ganesha and my dragons on the polished wood. Not because she represents some connection with a faith that I have long abandoned. When I stepped away from Christianity, I stepped away. Now maybe that was my own particular experience. Maybe no other ex-Christians/current Pagans had this experience, but I know this isn't true. I've met too many who went through the exact same thing. In addition to all this, I for one have quite a large amount of respect for most of the teachings of the man who was Jesus. I think he did exist, but that he was simply a brilliant philosopher much like the Buddha or many other before and since. I don't worship him on my particular altar, but I see how some Pagans could include him in their own worship--at least the teachings of love, not the idea of him as the son of the Christian God.

Having said all that, here's what I really think: there is no way to truly mesh Paganism in any form with Christianity. The Christian religion, at its heart, is based around the notion that God required a bloody human sacrifice in order to redeem humankind of its sins. This is antithetical to everything I've ever learned about Paganism in general. Our Goddesses and Gods do not require, do not ask for blood on their altars, and we do not need to go crawling on our knees for forgiveness for "sins." Whatever we do, we do. I have gone to the Goddess and God to ask for help in overcoming the faults that caused me to make some error, but never for forgiveness. That is something I must give to myself. In any case, my point is how is it possible to wed a religion drenched from its very beginning in blood to one opposed to such things. Yes, I plan on delving into the books written by those in the various Christo-Pagan traditions in order to see what they say about their own faith, but I am at a complete loss to even begin to fathom how they convince themselves this works.

If there are any Christo-Pagans/Trinitarians/etc. reading, please feel free to contact me with your own explanations. I am truly interested, despite my utter lack of faith in the possibility.

P.S. For those who call themselves "Christian Witches," how exactly do you gloss over the injunction of "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."?

Book Life 18: These are Not the Pagans I Was Looking For

I should be asleep right now. Except for a two hour nap yesterday and around the same this evening, I've been up since 9 am Sunday. Stayed up, played D&D, came home, watched the season finale of Game of Thrones, and should have crashed. My body, however, had different plans. So I picked up the next book on my to-read list (at least the next one I have), which is the book you see to the left, Pagan Visions for a Sustainable Future edited by Ly de Angeles, Emma Restall Orr, and Thom van Dooren. I was very excited when I bought this book a while back, because as my fellow PSA (Pagan Student Association) members at FSU can tell you, Pagan Ethics is one of those things we can discuss for weeks. Those were some of the most involved and popular discussions at our meetings, in fact. The popular thought is you can ask 10 Pagans a question on anything and get at least 15-20 responses, and it's true. We do love to discuss and pick apart and analyze and debate, which is a good thing. It means we are open minded and civilized enough to realize that we are not going to agree completely and that's okay. Anyway, all of the above is to say I was quite enamored of the idea of this book when I bought it. There aren't very many Pagan Ethics books floating around, after all. However, of the many many books I have read over the years, Pagan literature has been the genre that has most disappointed me, and unfortunately, this book falls into that category.

The introduction rekindled the excitement I had when I found it:

"We make jokes about..."superstar Pagans" and "cash-register Druids," and all the while these people are becoming more and more common...What is so significant about these people is that they are coming to define what Paganism is...to a public that is greedy for anything even slightly sensational."--Thom van Dooren, "Introduction"

I loved this statement and a few other similar to it, because it's just true. Non-Pagans who have delved even shallowly into our literature for their own edification will likely recognize a handful of names like Scott Cunningham, Silver Ravenwolf, and Starhawk; they tend to serve as our emissaries into the wider world whether we wish them to or not, based entirely on their wide availability and copious publications. This is not to say that I have not read them. On the contrary, as a young solitary Wiccan 12 years ago, Cunningham was one of my go-to reads, and Starhawk pops up in Women's Studies and Religion texts all the time. This is also not to say that I like them. Cunningham had excellent information, and I think he's awesome. Silver Ravenwolf I believe is a blight on the Pagan world, and as my friend A'ishah and I have discussed many times, I am tired of Starhawk. From all appearances, she is the only feminist Pagan woman writing anything ever, and not all of it is worth the paper upon which it is printed. Certainly I am not saying that just because these are popular authors they have no worth, but as van Dooren pointed out, this problem is that they are coming more and more to completely represent Paganism. Ravenwolf and even Cunningham represent only one particular portion of the Pagan community, and yet, they are constantly put forth as representatives of our entire community. My Paganism is absolutely not that of Ravenwolf, and it has not been that of Cunningham for years. However, due to their place as spokespeople, we are all specifically Wiccan and solitary and etc. to outsiders.

Wow, I kind of veered off topic there...My point is that this book's intro set it up to be the response to that erroneous appearance with all the talk of superstar Pagans, but then it went down in flames. My excitement over the book made me forget the cardinal rule of buying Pagan books: always read the contributor list. There's Starhawk rearing her over-published head. I realize that many consider her not a superstar Pagan but a classic Pagan author, much like others in various other religious sects. But I can guarantee you, given the experiences I've had in Religion and Women's Studies courses over the past few years, she falls more into the former category than the latter. And maybe these editors see her as that classic Pagan author, but I think to do that, one has to ignore the place she is given in academic circles beyond the Pagan community. By placing her in this collection, they lost all credibility to me. Of course, many of the articles were well-written and maybe thought provoking for those in the particular groups addressed, but for me it was all overshadowed by that contradiction between ideal and published reality.

My kingdom for a good, solid Pagan Ethics book, one that does not privilege Starhawk and/or the Wiccan community. There are other Pagans out here, I assure you.

Adventures in Women's Studies: The Duggars Revisited

So, we all know how much I miss academia. I have been going out of my skull with no research, conjugations, or papers to do, and so when Genevieve, a fabulous grad student who teaches Women's Studies, emailed and asked me to give my Quiverfull presentation for her class, of course I said yes. Next Wednesday evening I get to put that look of "omg are you serious?" into the eyes of Women's Studies students. It's great. I love it. Anyway, the class is a new one called Mothering in the 21st Century, so I know I need to update the PowerPoint I use--not to mention it just needs updating. I decided to catch up on my Duggar surveillance. I backtracked and figured out I've missed 3 whole seasons (!) and what there is of season 7. Horrors! Being without cable, I went trolling YouTube, and lo and behold there they all are in pieces. Voila! Duggar-thon! (Thank you duggarhayesfan for uploading all of them!)

I don't really have a solid point for this blog post, but we'll see what new and fabulous insights arise from my mini research session...

As I was about to post this, Michelle mentioned that she was taking Jim Bob to her Weight Watchers meeting...and then she said Jana had been going for quite a while. Jana is the oldest daughter and has never once in all the years they've been on tv been even slightly chubby. She's beautiful (I will be woman enough to admit having a small crush...calm down--she's over 18.), and I just don't know what to do with this info yet. I get Michelle going: She uses WW to lose the baby weight after each kid and get back to her pre-pregnancy weight. Fine. Whatever floats her boat. But I just don't know what to think about encouraging Jana to do it. That just screams messed up body images to me...

Duggar Fun (If a Bit Scary) Fact: If all 19 kids had 19 kids each, there would be nearly 7,000 grand-Duggars. Oh, VIsion Forum would love that...

We was po', part ii: in which a low SES girl discusses salary...

A friend and fellow religion major posted this chart on his facebook feed today...As Religious Studies people we come in at 12th worst paid, and one of my other loves, Women's Studies (listed as Interdisciplinary Studies), comes in at 15th. His comment was that we don't do it for the money, and that's true. No one becomes a religion scholar hoping to make the big bucks. It just doesn't happen, and if you are someone who thought this, you've been lied to, my friend. So, I agree with him, BUT (you knew that was coming, right?) I have a serious issue with the entire thing...

The starting pay for Religious Studies was listed as $34,700. For someone raised in an upper middle to upper class home, this may seem a paltry amount. However, as someone raised in a lower SES home and an economically depressed area and who spent seven years in an even more economically depressed rural area, I'm here to tell you, $34,700 sounds like a fortune. That is, in fact, almost exactly three times what I made at my retail and hospitality jobs in the aforementioned rural area. As my lovely wife pointed out, I am aware that once you spend all this time and money (that you will be paying back until the end of time) getting a degree, maybe some people expect a lot more. I will also grant you that people from my background do attend college to make a better life than that of family who possibly did not get a degree and spent their lives struggling financially. All of this is true, but when I remind myself of this, there is a little nagging at the back of my mind that still protests...

When I returned to college after my little hiatus, I realized quickly that I had stepped into a world where a large portion of the people were speaking an entirely different language. (For more on this, see my post HERE.) This has not changed over the couple of years since then; it has actually become even more apparent. Now, let me say that the people I go to school with are not all bad; i like many of them, even the ones from this other planet called "well-off." It's just that the further I progress, the more like I feel I'm bashing my head against a brick wall. I dropped Women's Studies as a career path for this very reason. Every single WST class I took it seemed I spent half my time attempting to interject a low SES rural point of view into the discussion. I just could not see spending my entire career doing that. Now I'm afraid that Religion will be the same...

I suppose that given a certain kind of upbringing, 35 grand a year might not cut it, but as for me, where do i sign?

can we talk about jesus for a minute?: in which a frustrated religion student discusses problems with zealots

Okay, I must first warn my Christian friends that they may or may not be offended by the following blog entry. If you are, please know that this was not the intention, and I humbly ask that you lighten up and open your mind a bit....

Now, the story begins on a damp December evening, last night actually...A friend's facebook status was one of those "please repost if you agree" kind of things talking about how people are trying "to take the Christ out of Christmas," etc. I, for some unknown reason likely having to do with sleep deprivation and general aggravation, decided it was a good idea to comment and impart some Yuletide knowledge. All I said was that, as I (and many others) understand it, if any of the nativity tale is true, it isn't possible for Jesus to have been born in December; also, the Christian observance of Christmas was superimposed on the Pagan celebration of the birth of Mithras, who was also, incidentally, said to bring light to the world. Two fairly common facts that even a lot of more liberal Christians don't dispute. Well, youd've thought I pissed on a Bible and spit on a crucifix. I was told I was "full of it" and basically that "ideas" had nothing to do with her faith. She implied that I'd attacked her faith and religion and that she expected the same respect she afforded my beliefs.

Where to begin? The implication of attack? Refusal to acknowledge the historical issues of one's religion? The self-righteous overtones? How about the notion that faith and ideas are mutually exclusive? *sigh*

First of all, let me say that my comments were in no way intended to attack anyone's faith. Even when I was Christian, I revelled in telling people about the Pagan origins of Christian holidays. It isn't about undermining faith; it's about knowledge. I fail to understand how learning about your religion's historical and cultural underpinnings is problematic. By ignoring and denying these, you are in fact denying that religion has a basis in daily human life, when really that's ALL it's about--how we as humans interact with one another and attempt to understand the Universe. I don't think I would want to be a part of a faith that was so divorced from my life that the acknowledgement of a few historical, cultural, or literary revelations could destroy it.

My other big contention with this is the self-righteous assumptions made--not just by my friend but by many Christians. It seems to be quite all right for Christians to make whatever statements they wish about other religions or lack thereof, but if anyone outside their faith dares to talk about Christianity, it is automatically an attack. Guess what? Some of us are simply fascinated by religion and our critiques should not be seen as all-out warfare on you and your religion. If your faith isn't strong enough to survive a little debate, that is not my problem, it's yours.

Lastly, I actually do want to talk about Jesus. My personal faith does not recognize him as the son of any god, except in the way we are all children of the Goddess and God. However, in his teachings, there are things that mesh well with my ethics; what modern Christianity has done with those teachings usually does not. I have no issue with someone following Jesus or being Christian. Hell, I've known Pagans that see the historical Jesus as a face of the God. What I do have a sincere problem with, besides the general misuse of what were actually a few awesome ideas, is the way that many Christians have made Jesus, or rather specific beliefs about him, so sacrosanct that discussion is not possible. I don't want to convert you, I just want a conversation and for you to realize that the man and the originators of your religion were HUMAN and that it did not evolve in a sacred little bubble but alongside human civilization. Therefore, historical and cultural information is important to your religion and faith.

One last thought: everything is based on ideas. Just because it's religion, it isn't exempt. Someone once had the IDEA that following Jesus might be cool....I'm just sayin...

...And another generation begins...

As most of the television-watching world knows now, the Duggars now have their first grandchild--Mackynzie Renee Duggar--daughter of oldest son Josh and his relatively new wife Anna. According to the news reports, they couple welcomed their new baby in their home with a midwife and doula in attendance. While on some levels, I applaud this, I also wonder where it may lead.

In the Quiverfull movement is a smaller subset known as freebirthers. They begin having babies at home with a medically trained midwife and/or doula but then progress eventually to completely unassisted births with only the father "catching". Some people would say that this is fine, given that millions of women in other countries especially do this everyday. However, consider the recent case of Carri Chmielewski...she had an unassisted homebirth. She ignored all of the warning signs that it was a difficult pregnancy and looked to be a difficult birth by saying that God would protect her and the baby. The result was that the baby died and Carri ended up in the hospital in critical condition.

Freebirthing may not be an issue in many cases where the parents are well-prepared and knowledgeable and the birth is unproblematic. However, in cases such as the Chmielewskis, there are obvious issues.

..."Now that's Love."

Last night, Anna and I went with Violetta to see her husband, Brannon (aka Leroy, aka Something) perform his poetry. Unbeknowst to us, it was pretty much all Christian art. Now, in general, this is no problem, and for the most part, I put aside the religious overtones and just enjoyed the music and the talent. A couple of times I was a bit put off by what was said, but honestly, this is me we're talking about. It isn't that surprising. In any case, Christianity aside, Brannon fucking rocked the place. The man is awesome! I'm a total spoken word geek and will watch Def Poetry over and over, and I'm telling you, he's great. (The title of this blog is from the best one he did.)

There is a point to this, and I swear I'm getting to it. They had an open mike section, and I had a notebook in my purse with a few of my okay poems. However, given the crowd, I didn't think it would be such a great idea. The one that would have been the closest to usable was one about Kali, and I'm not sure they sould have appreciated the skirt of arms and garland of heads imagery. I wish I could have though. I've never performed any of my poems, despite the fact that most of them would work better as spoken word than on paper. I've never really had an opportunity. Of course, I also haven't written in a bit, and I worry that I can't anymore. Sometimes I can scribble something passable out, but most of the time I'm wrapped up in papers and thesis stuff and nothing truly creative happens. I used to be a creative writing major for crying out loud! Wtf happened?

The other point I was mulling over last night is divinity and divine experiences. Especially in the music and Brannon's poems, I could feel their passion and love for their version of the divine. For little Pagan me, it served as a worship time, even though the deities I was thinking of were decidedly different from the ones that they were talking about. It was pretty cool. But then I got to thinking that were most of the people in the room to attend the annual Samhain labyrinth or even the Mabon ritual this weekend, they would not have the same experience at all. Some of them might, but...Being Pagan has allowed me to become much more open to experiencing the divine in all its manifestations and wonder. I'm definitely grateful for that...Blessed Be...

Christian Psychotics, Episode 3: ...and they just keep coming:

The Duggars announce their 19th child!

Okay, most everyone knows that I am studying the Quiverfull people for my honors thesis. The Duggars on TLC, though they never use the word, are a perfect example of this movement: complete rejection of all birth control (so they say, but I'll get to that in a minute), strict gender roles, the whole nine yards...As of now, they have 18 kids, hence the name of their show (18 kids and counting), but Michelle and Jim Bob have just announced the impending arrival (doom?) of their 19th child. This one is due in March, just five months after their first grandchild is supposed to arrive. According to their book, while the Duggars eschew any conventional form of birth control, they do follow Hebrew Bible injunctions about abstinence after birth--40 days after the birth of a boy and 80 days after the birth of a girl. In the loosest of math, she could be pregnant even using their own system, but my question is SHOULD she be?

I am a card-carrying feminist and a firm believer in the power of choice, even if it is not a choice I would make for myself. However, it is worth wondering whether this is a true choice, especially for the girls raised (brainwashed?) in this movement...

Biblical Sex and the Fools Who Promote It, Episode 1

I am obsessed with Religion Dispatches, a fabulous site with tons and tons of articles about pop culture items, books, movements, etc. that are religiously inclined (or atheist as the case may be). Today I was reading an interview with Dagmar Herzog, author of Sex in Crisis: The New Sexual Revolution and the Future of American Politics. The image they placed alongside the article featured a sparkly bra and panties set from the Christian covenant marriage site Marriage Vineyard. Of course, seeing as I am studying this particular sort of Christian psychotic, I went surfing over to check them out. In the process of checking out the sexy wares they are peddling,I came across a free pdf of a book What the Bible Says About Sex. Of course, I downloaded it. One chapter in particular has given me serious pause: "Sex Before Marriage, Prostitution, and STD's".

At the beginning of this chapter, they list the 6 items specifically forbidden in the Bible/Old Testament; number 6 is "rape of an engaged or married woman (Deuteronomy 22:23-24)". My first thought was "what are the implications of that statement for single women? Can they just be raped willy nilly?" A few sentences into the first paragraph, I got my answer:

Seduction of an unengaged virgin is addressed in Exodus 22:16,17 - the penalty is to pay the full bride price and generally marry the girl. Rape of an unengaged virgin requires marriage to take place and the full bride price to be paid. (Deuteronomy 22:28,29) and he may not divorce her ever. The man gets stuck with a hurt, angry woman for life. Thus the penalty for sex before marriage- is marriage.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? So, let me get this straight...if you rape an engaged or married woman is specifically dealth with as being forbidden. BUT if you rape an unengaged virgin, HIS punishment is to marry her. I have heard of women condemned to marry their rapists, but never from an American Christian source. The kicker is the fact that "the man gets stuck with a hurt, angry woman for life." Okay, what about the victim? They obviously aren't considering this a punishment for her, and do you want to know why? She is a non-person until married. Not an exaggeration, people. All of the literature I'm reading talks about women as pre-married and a furture bride. The woman is never a person until tethered to a man in marriage. She is her father's daughter, a burden to unload at a reasonable age onto some willing schmo, who may have been her rapist apparently...

yeah, gay people are bringing marriage way down with our committed voluntary relationships and crazy ideas about wanting to raise kids...more on this as the research unfolds

book life 3: jesus is coming, look busy

Rapture Ready!: Adventures in the Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture by Daniel Radosh

I picked up this book because it's tangentially related to my honors thesis topic...evangelicals in any capacity fascinate me anyway. And given that I grew up in what I've always called the area directly below the buckle of the bible belt, this is a culture not unfamiliar to me. Radosh, on the other hand, was in completely new territory. His book covers everything from the growing American obsession with virginity to Ultimate Christian Wrestling, a new one even on me. While most of the topics covered were amusing in an odd sort of way, they were also frightening as hell. Evangelicals are one of the most politically and socially vocal and active groups in the United States, as can be seen by the fairly recent Prop 8 and Amendment 2 fiascoes in California and Florida, respectively. The fact that their creeds and manifestos are slipping into everyday usage without much of anyone noticing is more than scary, it's dangerous.

Take the chapter on virginity...Radosh quotes a book by pastor Dale Conaway called Sex: The Spiritual Laws in which he calls the hymen a sacred seal put in place by God. "If the seal is broken, it can reveal an intruder was present and that product tampering may have taken place." [emphasis mine] First, a woman's body is related to a home, a structure for someone else to occupy and fill with what they see fit, and is then likened to a PRODUCT, an object to be bought and sold. Problematic does not even begin to start to maybe cover this. This is all part of the insistence on abstinence as the only option for unmarried people. It gets bizarre and even more appalling when he continues into discussion of sex ed in public schools.

We all know that the religious right has a sincere problem with anyone learning anything about sex that involves more than "don't do it", but what most don't realize is that the abstinence only groups that have won and are teaching, are handing out flawed information. A 2004 report on commonly used abstinence curricula found that 11 of 13 of them had misleading or just plain false information. Some of the insanity includes: "pornography causes brain damage and premarital sex depletes a chemical necessary for forming a permanent bond with one's spouse". The doctor that came up with that last one was appointed to run the Bush administration's women's health programs.

Definitely a worthwhile and useful read for anyone interested in evangelicals and the spread of the insanity they breed.

ok, so i'm a member of this Tallahassee Pagans email group. i joined forever ago to keep up with gatherings and hopefully meet like-minded pagans in the area so that maybe i wouldn't feel like the only little pagan on the block, as i usually am...i don't post, and generally, i just lurk and scan the happenings...a few days ago, someone posted this garbage called "hello, i'm a witch", and i am pissed off to say the least...it's kinda long, but in order to get the full effect, i'm posting the whole thing...bear with me...

"Hello, I am a Witch," says the man sporting a pentagram the size of an SUV, wearing all black and just waiting for some one to call him out for being different. My god! He will kill my cat and steal my babies. I won't hire him/ be his friend/have further dealings with him! Now lets try a different scenario: John just got a new job and he is getting along great with every one. He shows that he has great work ethic, contributes new and helpful ideas, and he is dependable and trust worthy. After working at his job for a few months, some religious topics come up in the break room and John is asked his opinion. "Well as a Pagan I believe…” In which situation does it seem more likely that some one would be open to learning the positive side to a way of life they are not used to? As Pagans we hold the responsibility for others opinions of our entire community. Stereotypes are everywhere. Chose not to contribute to them. John, the regular guy, just gave a whole group of people a reason to trust the Pagan community more than they might have already because he presented himself as part of the mainstream society as well. The other guy just added to the, "Those freaks all dress the same, and act out. They are up to no good. STAY AWAY." I am not saying not to wear you favorite Pagan jewelry, or not to disclose that you follow a different path to your new friend. I am asking you to think about how you are representing the rest of us when you do these things. If you are the only Pagan that some one knows then your personality traits, be they flaws or wonderful merits to your character, become a stereotype that they will associate with the next Pagan they meet.

Think of people in a different religion. Pagans so often have angst with Christianity. The main reason is that most Christians they have come into to contact with were not the "norm." Maybe you met them in the mall and the first words out of their mouth were, "Do you know Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?" followed by hassling to listen to their spiel. Maybe they came to your doorstep to tell you about their religion. Maybe it was a co-worker or classmate that always talks about uncomfortable topics to see how you would react. Those people's actions could easily take over your opinion of Christianity if they were the only Christians you ever encountered. Luckily, they probably are not. You probably have the opportunity to know many great people that just happen to be Christian, not people who are defined by their Christianity. However, Pagans are not as numerous, and you may be the only pagan some one knows for quite a while. Do you want that person to think that Pagans are religious zealots who define every aspect of their lives by their religion? I would hope you would rather them think that you are an
everyday guy who just happens to be Pagan.

So many times I go out into the Pagan community for a meet and greet of other local pagans and I come back with a bad taste in my mouth. I see exactly what I just described above, but it is in our circles. Pagans who enjoy stirring up trouble. They feed off others attention so they act out. People notice. They also notice the pentagram around their neck. Many times the people like this are only "Pagan" for the attention so even if the people noticing them decide to ask about Paganism or Wicca the "attention getter" would not really know what they were explaining. Sadly, the rest of us are on our best behavior and we do not get noticed. The only recognizing being done is for those who don't deserve it. A common saying goes, "It takes one "aw sh**", to erase a thousand "atta boys." People always remember the bad over the good. It would be so amazing to see a society where a Pagan was the same as any one else and we did not have to worry about these things.

A lot of people get hung up on the fact they should not have to act a certain way or be sensitive to what a Christian might think if they do this or that. I know you should not have to. I know it is wrong to be judged. You are being judged though. So, now, I ask even more of you. Something that I think many people will not like. Censor yourself.
When out in public watch what you say about Paganism. You may know what is involved in "casting a spell" or "invoking the goddess" but Jane Doe in the grocery Isle does not. Hearing tidbits of a conversation you are having with your buddy about a ritual you did the other day is probably unsettling for some one who does not know what you are talking
about. It can also be the cause of untrue rumors and gossip. By the time Jane Doe is finished telling about her encounter with you the church down the street may be holding a service about how there are local witches summoning demons from hell and poisoning
the local duck pond.

Now I challenge you with what might be the hardest thing yet. If some one confronts you directly about your religion or beliefs looking for an argument, WALK AWAY! Walk away especially if you are in view of other people. You may know you can win. You may even think you can change their mind about Paganism. You will not achieve either however. They approached you with intent on being right so in their mind they will be no matter what you say. If there are on lookers you will both seem immature for your dispute. It can only lead to negative energy and scuffed up feelings and egos on both sides. Here is the alternative I offer you. Send them a letter outlining what you believe, make it sweet and understanding. Then they cannot provoke you to say something you will regret. Also, you win. You showed maturity in the situation. They may be so impressed that actually listen to what you had to say in your letter. So you say, "I don't do any of that stuff. I am good, why did I even read this trash?"
Well then I ask you, "What do you do?"

If we, Pagans, don't need people out there stirring up negative talk and publicity for us then what do we need? Pagans who stir up positive attention for our side. Pagans raising money for charity, Pagans cleaning up the environment, Pagans volunteering at their local hospital or building homes with habitat for humanity. We need Pagans taking up leadership roles in our community. We need to be getting noticed for all the right reasons. I don't care how poor or busy you may think you are you can find time or money to give to a worthy cause. You will not regret it. I have had some of the most rewarding experiences of my life helping others. I challenge you! Don't be showy about what you believe; other people do not like that. Remember what you do changes peoples opinions of you and others. Be discrete in what you talk about it public. Don't try to stir up trouble. Walk away from arguments. Make a positive difference in other peoples lives so they have higher standards for the rest of us. Be that nice person who just happens to be Pagan.

do you see why i'm pissed off? first of all...just because i or anyone else happens to wear all or mostly black and chooses to wear a pentagram, does not make us the fool who goes bashing around looking for christians to attack...i am that lots of black and a pentagram kinda girl but anyone who knows me can tell you that i don't go looking for a fight. you bring me one and i will have it out, but usually i'm that "nice person who just happens to be pagan"...i understand that there are those in our community who give us a bad name, but i'm here to tell you...i have met just as many if not more "broom closeted" pagans who give us a bad name as i have "craft" pagans dammit...

i have to stop there...this is awfully short given the length of the cause, but i spent twenty minutes responding to them, and i'm pooped...just wanted to vent a little...i guess it just goes to show you that fundamentlism is everywhere...just in different ways

Book Life 1: The Tale of the Renaissance Lesbian Nun

Immodest Acts: The Life of a Lesbian Nun in Renaissance Italy by Judith C. Brown

I have been wanting this book since I came across it randomly mentioned in another book, for obvious reasons. My lifelong obsession with religion and asceticism combined with lesbian life in the Renaissance…who could ask for more.

In any case, the book was fabulous. Brown reconstructed the tale of Benedetta Carlini from documents she found in a miscellaneous file while researching another topic in Italian history. Sister Benedetta went to the convent at age 9, which was not that unusual then, and went on to establish herself as a mystic for a time. She would have visions of Jesus and various saints who sometimes spoke through her. She claimed to have literally exchanged hearts with Christ (which was not an unusual thing for female mystics in that era) and was married to Christ in a ceremony whose decorations, guests, and components were supposedly dictated to her by Jesus himself. She received the stigmata and a pale yellow wedding ring appeared on her finger.

Several inconsistencies and unusual pieces of the visions and actions of Benedetta drew an inquiry from the Church, and it was decided that she was a fraud. The Church took the more ecclesiastic route and declared her deceived by the Devil. The most interesting information that surfaced during the investigation did not precisely have to do with the divine or diabolical nature of the visions, however. When she began having visions and trance states, Benedetta was assigned a companion nun, Bartolomea, to stay near her to assist when these things occurred. In the second inquiry, Bartolomea revealed that she had been forced to partake in “lewd” activities with Benedetta, who was supposedly being used for the purpose by Splenditello, an angel that guarded Sister Benedetta for Jesus. Splenditello told Bartolomea that he wished for her to be his beloved and that what they were doing was not sinful (ostensibly since he was an angel sent by God and Benedetta had no idea what he was doing). Benedetta denied knowledge of the many, many, many occurrences (every night and during nearly every day for years), which would fit with her insistence that she was channeling Splenditello and not doing these things herself. However, in my opinion, the way in which Bartolomea described the whole encounter leads me to believe that it was a mutual relationship, and the two of them were simply doing what they had to do to prevent being burned at the stake (the likely punishment had they been discovered to have done these things willingly). One can’t really fault them for it, given the time period.

Brown discusses the Renaissance beliefs about sexual misconduct in the introduction as well as extensively in footnotes and the epilogue. What is fascinating is that the punishments handed out to “lesbian” offenders were generally harsher and more aimed at women who defied norms of gendered living rather than the sexual act itself. For instance, in one case, a young woman lived as a man to the extent that she took on a wife, and when they were discovered, it was the one living as a man that was punished. (She chose to die by hanging rather than return to life as a girl.) As far as the records go, the wife was not blamed for any wrongdoing.

A last idea that Brown included was the separation of what has been called “holy anorexia” from modern notions of eating disorders. I understand the distinction, as food has very different meanings now as opposed to then. However, in the particular descriptions given of Benedetta’s actions, I would have to say that I think she was suffering from a medieval version of anorexia/bulimia with all the attendant obsessive features, some so noticeable to the other nuns that they made constant mention of them.

All in all, Benedetta’s story was incredibly interesting, I’d recommend it to anyone interested in notions of gender either within religion or outside of it.

Thoughts on Meditation and Nothingness

As some of you know, I have been occasionally attending the Unitarian Universalist Church here in Tallahassee. Yesterday, Rev. Robin talked about prayer and meditation using types from a book whose title escapes me now. Anyway, she talked about prayer as not needing a deity to focus on and then discussed meditation as, to her, the most difficult form of prayer, at least in regards to the clearing of the mind. The nothingness that Buddhists and others who meditate seek seemed to her the hardest thing, and it very well may be.

Years ago after becoming Pagan, I took up periodic meditation mainly as a stress reliever and centering action. I do not do it as much as I probably should, but nonetheless, I do practice in my own way. In any case, after only a short time attempting to meditate as I thought you should...the stiff posture, blank mind search for the black nothingness...I realized that it really didn't do much for me. I could clear my mind and relax after a bit, and if you have silence then, it is truly fabulous in its own way. However, I have come to realize that the most effective meditation for me is to sit and relax quietly and look at the trees, water, whatever nature is handy. Sometimes, if the need is great enough, even a flower on someone's desk or a picture is sufficient. I do not try to force thoughts away, but allow them to float through on whatever topic they wish. And I have found that after a while, the thoughts quiet down on their own, though they never disappear completely. I can compose pieces of whatever I'm writing at the time or think of what I need to do later in the day without rush and anxiety.

This type of meditation, to me, seems more difficult than the other. We constantly push thoughts and duties aside during the day. We quiet our inner voices to the point that they feel they must scream at us to be heard. Yes, we need silence, but I think outside silence is more important than that on the inside. By silencing the inner voice completely, even for short stretches, we may miss something incredible. In our search for periodic inner nothingness, blankness, quiet, we may find it, but we may also lose moments of wonder---which considering the state of the world, are too few and much too far between.