The Jesus Rede?: In Which a Pagan Considers the Seeming Impossibility of Christo-Paganism

Quite frequently, I stumble onto a topic that fascinates me, and then I devote inordinate amounts of time and energy pulling it apart. This is how the entire Quiverfull honors thesis occurred. Last night I watched The 19th Wife, a murder mystery about fundamentalist Mormons in polygamist marriages, and it sparked the long ignored desire to learn more about Mormonism in general. I already have the list of books ready. By the same token, a search for a long-forgotten novel about witches in a swamp randomly pulled up a list of books about, of all things, Christian Paganism. After posting a short status on it on Facebook, there ensued a civilized discussion about and wondering over the topic. Of course, someone interjected that they believe that the amalgamation is a natural progression for someone raised in a Christian background, then stated the use of statues of the Virgin Mary in some Pagan ritual. *sigh*

Okay, I have a small Mary on my altar. While I spent my youth among the pews of various Protestants, I was never really Catholic, but I recognize that Mary is truly an altered version of the Goddesses of old. She was the Christian face of Isis and Cerridwen and so many others, and this is why she sits among Kwan Yin and Ganesha and my dragons on the polished wood. Not because she represents some connection with a faith that I have long abandoned. When I stepped away from Christianity, I stepped away. Now maybe that was my own particular experience. Maybe no other ex-Christians/current Pagans had this experience, but I know this isn't true. I've met too many who went through the exact same thing. In addition to all this, I for one have quite a large amount of respect for most of the teachings of the man who was Jesus. I think he did exist, but that he was simply a brilliant philosopher much like the Buddha or many other before and since. I don't worship him on my particular altar, but I see how some Pagans could include him in their own worship--at least the teachings of love, not the idea of him as the son of the Christian God.

Having said all that, here's what I really think: there is no way to truly mesh Paganism in any form with Christianity. The Christian religion, at its heart, is based around the notion that God required a bloody human sacrifice in order to redeem humankind of its sins. This is antithetical to everything I've ever learned about Paganism in general. Our Goddesses and Gods do not require, do not ask for blood on their altars, and we do not need to go crawling on our knees for forgiveness for "sins." Whatever we do, we do. I have gone to the Goddess and God to ask for help in overcoming the faults that caused me to make some error, but never for forgiveness. That is something I must give to myself. In any case, my point is how is it possible to wed a religion drenched from its very beginning in blood to one opposed to such things. Yes, I plan on delving into the books written by those in the various Christo-Pagan traditions in order to see what they say about their own faith, but I am at a complete loss to even begin to fathom how they convince themselves this works.

If there are any Christo-Pagans/Trinitarians/etc. reading, please feel free to contact me with your own explanations. I am truly interested, despite my utter lack of faith in the possibility.

P.S. For those who call themselves "Christian Witches," how exactly do you gloss over the injunction of "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."?

Book Life 18: These are Not the Pagans I Was Looking For

I should be asleep right now. Except for a two hour nap yesterday and around the same this evening, I've been up since 9 am Sunday. Stayed up, played D&D, came home, watched the season finale of Game of Thrones, and should have crashed. My body, however, had different plans. So I picked up the next book on my to-read list (at least the next one I have), which is the book you see to the left, Pagan Visions for a Sustainable Future edited by Ly de Angeles, Emma Restall Orr, and Thom van Dooren. I was very excited when I bought this book a while back, because as my fellow PSA (Pagan Student Association) members at FSU can tell you, Pagan Ethics is one of those things we can discuss for weeks. Those were some of the most involved and popular discussions at our meetings, in fact. The popular thought is you can ask 10 Pagans a question on anything and get at least 15-20 responses, and it's true. We do love to discuss and pick apart and analyze and debate, which is a good thing. It means we are open minded and civilized enough to realize that we are not going to agree completely and that's okay. Anyway, all of the above is to say I was quite enamored of the idea of this book when I bought it. There aren't very many Pagan Ethics books floating around, after all. However, of the many many books I have read over the years, Pagan literature has been the genre that has most disappointed me, and unfortunately, this book falls into that category.

The introduction rekindled the excitement I had when I found it:

"We make jokes about..."superstar Pagans" and "cash-register Druids," and all the while these people are becoming more and more common...What is so significant about these people is that they are coming to define what Paganism is...to a public that is greedy for anything even slightly sensational."--Thom van Dooren, "Introduction"

I loved this statement and a few other similar to it, because it's just true. Non-Pagans who have delved even shallowly into our literature for their own edification will likely recognize a handful of names like Scott Cunningham, Silver Ravenwolf, and Starhawk; they tend to serve as our emissaries into the wider world whether we wish them to or not, based entirely on their wide availability and copious publications. This is not to say that I have not read them. On the contrary, as a young solitary Wiccan 12 years ago, Cunningham was one of my go-to reads, and Starhawk pops up in Women's Studies and Religion texts all the time. This is also not to say that I like them. Cunningham had excellent information, and I think he's awesome. Silver Ravenwolf I believe is a blight on the Pagan world, and as my friend A'ishah and I have discussed many times, I am tired of Starhawk. From all appearances, she is the only feminist Pagan woman writing anything ever, and not all of it is worth the paper upon which it is printed. Certainly I am not saying that just because these are popular authors they have no worth, but as van Dooren pointed out, this problem is that they are coming more and more to completely represent Paganism. Ravenwolf and even Cunningham represent only one particular portion of the Pagan community, and yet, they are constantly put forth as representatives of our entire community. My Paganism is absolutely not that of Ravenwolf, and it has not been that of Cunningham for years. However, due to their place as spokespeople, we are all specifically Wiccan and solitary and etc. to outsiders.

Wow, I kind of veered off topic there...My point is that this book's intro set it up to be the response to that erroneous appearance with all the talk of superstar Pagans, but then it went down in flames. My excitement over the book made me forget the cardinal rule of buying Pagan books: always read the contributor list. There's Starhawk rearing her over-published head. I realize that many consider her not a superstar Pagan but a classic Pagan author, much like others in various other religious sects. But I can guarantee you, given the experiences I've had in Religion and Women's Studies courses over the past few years, she falls more into the former category than the latter. And maybe these editors see her as that classic Pagan author, but I think to do that, one has to ignore the place she is given in academic circles beyond the Pagan community. By placing her in this collection, they lost all credibility to me. Of course, many of the articles were well-written and maybe thought provoking for those in the particular groups addressed, but for me it was all overshadowed by that contradiction between ideal and published reality.

My kingdom for a good, solid Pagan Ethics book, one that does not privilege Starhawk and/or the Wiccan community. There are other Pagans out here, I assure you.

..."Now that's Love."

Last night, Anna and I went with Violetta to see her husband, Brannon (aka Leroy, aka Something) perform his poetry. Unbeknowst to us, it was pretty much all Christian art. Now, in general, this is no problem, and for the most part, I put aside the religious overtones and just enjoyed the music and the talent. A couple of times I was a bit put off by what was said, but honestly, this is me we're talking about. It isn't that surprising. In any case, Christianity aside, Brannon fucking rocked the place. The man is awesome! I'm a total spoken word geek and will watch Def Poetry over and over, and I'm telling you, he's great. (The title of this blog is from the best one he did.)

There is a point to this, and I swear I'm getting to it. They had an open mike section, and I had a notebook in my purse with a few of my okay poems. However, given the crowd, I didn't think it would be such a great idea. The one that would have been the closest to usable was one about Kali, and I'm not sure they sould have appreciated the skirt of arms and garland of heads imagery. I wish I could have though. I've never performed any of my poems, despite the fact that most of them would work better as spoken word than on paper. I've never really had an opportunity. Of course, I also haven't written in a bit, and I worry that I can't anymore. Sometimes I can scribble something passable out, but most of the time I'm wrapped up in papers and thesis stuff and nothing truly creative happens. I used to be a creative writing major for crying out loud! Wtf happened?

The other point I was mulling over last night is divinity and divine experiences. Especially in the music and Brannon's poems, I could feel their passion and love for their version of the divine. For little Pagan me, it served as a worship time, even though the deities I was thinking of were decidedly different from the ones that they were talking about. It was pretty cool. But then I got to thinking that were most of the people in the room to attend the annual Samhain labyrinth or even the Mabon ritual this weekend, they would not have the same experience at all. Some of them might, but...Being Pagan has allowed me to become much more open to experiencing the divine in all its manifestations and wonder. I'm definitely grateful for that...Blessed Be...

ok, so i'm a member of this Tallahassee Pagans email group. i joined forever ago to keep up with gatherings and hopefully meet like-minded pagans in the area so that maybe i wouldn't feel like the only little pagan on the block, as i usually am...i don't post, and generally, i just lurk and scan the happenings...a few days ago, someone posted this garbage called "hello, i'm a witch", and i am pissed off to say the least...it's kinda long, but in order to get the full effect, i'm posting the whole thing...bear with me...

"Hello, I am a Witch," says the man sporting a pentagram the size of an SUV, wearing all black and just waiting for some one to call him out for being different. My god! He will kill my cat and steal my babies. I won't hire him/ be his friend/have further dealings with him! Now lets try a different scenario: John just got a new job and he is getting along great with every one. He shows that he has great work ethic, contributes new and helpful ideas, and he is dependable and trust worthy. After working at his job for a few months, some religious topics come up in the break room and John is asked his opinion. "Well as a Pagan I believe…” In which situation does it seem more likely that some one would be open to learning the positive side to a way of life they are not used to? As Pagans we hold the responsibility for others opinions of our entire community. Stereotypes are everywhere. Chose not to contribute to them. John, the regular guy, just gave a whole group of people a reason to trust the Pagan community more than they might have already because he presented himself as part of the mainstream society as well. The other guy just added to the, "Those freaks all dress the same, and act out. They are up to no good. STAY AWAY." I am not saying not to wear you favorite Pagan jewelry, or not to disclose that you follow a different path to your new friend. I am asking you to think about how you are representing the rest of us when you do these things. If you are the only Pagan that some one knows then your personality traits, be they flaws or wonderful merits to your character, become a stereotype that they will associate with the next Pagan they meet.

Think of people in a different religion. Pagans so often have angst with Christianity. The main reason is that most Christians they have come into to contact with were not the "norm." Maybe you met them in the mall and the first words out of their mouth were, "Do you know Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?" followed by hassling to listen to their spiel. Maybe they came to your doorstep to tell you about their religion. Maybe it was a co-worker or classmate that always talks about uncomfortable topics to see how you would react. Those people's actions could easily take over your opinion of Christianity if they were the only Christians you ever encountered. Luckily, they probably are not. You probably have the opportunity to know many great people that just happen to be Christian, not people who are defined by their Christianity. However, Pagans are not as numerous, and you may be the only pagan some one knows for quite a while. Do you want that person to think that Pagans are religious zealots who define every aspect of their lives by their religion? I would hope you would rather them think that you are an
everyday guy who just happens to be Pagan.

So many times I go out into the Pagan community for a meet and greet of other local pagans and I come back with a bad taste in my mouth. I see exactly what I just described above, but it is in our circles. Pagans who enjoy stirring up trouble. They feed off others attention so they act out. People notice. They also notice the pentagram around their neck. Many times the people like this are only "Pagan" for the attention so even if the people noticing them decide to ask about Paganism or Wicca the "attention getter" would not really know what they were explaining. Sadly, the rest of us are on our best behavior and we do not get noticed. The only recognizing being done is for those who don't deserve it. A common saying goes, "It takes one "aw sh**", to erase a thousand "atta boys." People always remember the bad over the good. It would be so amazing to see a society where a Pagan was the same as any one else and we did not have to worry about these things.

A lot of people get hung up on the fact they should not have to act a certain way or be sensitive to what a Christian might think if they do this or that. I know you should not have to. I know it is wrong to be judged. You are being judged though. So, now, I ask even more of you. Something that I think many people will not like. Censor yourself.
When out in public watch what you say about Paganism. You may know what is involved in "casting a spell" or "invoking the goddess" but Jane Doe in the grocery Isle does not. Hearing tidbits of a conversation you are having with your buddy about a ritual you did the other day is probably unsettling for some one who does not know what you are talking
about. It can also be the cause of untrue rumors and gossip. By the time Jane Doe is finished telling about her encounter with you the church down the street may be holding a service about how there are local witches summoning demons from hell and poisoning
the local duck pond.

Now I challenge you with what might be the hardest thing yet. If some one confronts you directly about your religion or beliefs looking for an argument, WALK AWAY! Walk away especially if you are in view of other people. You may know you can win. You may even think you can change their mind about Paganism. You will not achieve either however. They approached you with intent on being right so in their mind they will be no matter what you say. If there are on lookers you will both seem immature for your dispute. It can only lead to negative energy and scuffed up feelings and egos on both sides. Here is the alternative I offer you. Send them a letter outlining what you believe, make it sweet and understanding. Then they cannot provoke you to say something you will regret. Also, you win. You showed maturity in the situation. They may be so impressed that actually listen to what you had to say in your letter. So you say, "I don't do any of that stuff. I am good, why did I even read this trash?"
Well then I ask you, "What do you do?"

If we, Pagans, don't need people out there stirring up negative talk and publicity for us then what do we need? Pagans who stir up positive attention for our side. Pagans raising money for charity, Pagans cleaning up the environment, Pagans volunteering at their local hospital or building homes with habitat for humanity. We need Pagans taking up leadership roles in our community. We need to be getting noticed for all the right reasons. I don't care how poor or busy you may think you are you can find time or money to give to a worthy cause. You will not regret it. I have had some of the most rewarding experiences of my life helping others. I challenge you! Don't be showy about what you believe; other people do not like that. Remember what you do changes peoples opinions of you and others. Be discrete in what you talk about it public. Don't try to stir up trouble. Walk away from arguments. Make a positive difference in other peoples lives so they have higher standards for the rest of us. Be that nice person who just happens to be Pagan.

do you see why i'm pissed off? first of all...just because i or anyone else happens to wear all or mostly black and chooses to wear a pentagram, does not make us the fool who goes bashing around looking for christians to attack...i am that lots of black and a pentagram kinda girl but anyone who knows me can tell you that i don't go looking for a fight. you bring me one and i will have it out, but usually i'm that "nice person who just happens to be pagan"...i understand that there are those in our community who give us a bad name, but i'm here to tell you...i have met just as many if not more "broom closeted" pagans who give us a bad name as i have "craft" pagans dammit...

i have to stop there...this is awfully short given the length of the cause, but i spent twenty minutes responding to them, and i'm pooped...just wanted to vent a little...i guess it just goes to show you that fundamentlism is everywhere...just in different ways

Thoughts on Meditation and Nothingness

As some of you know, I have been occasionally attending the Unitarian Universalist Church here in Tallahassee. Yesterday, Rev. Robin talked about prayer and meditation using types from a book whose title escapes me now. Anyway, she talked about prayer as not needing a deity to focus on and then discussed meditation as, to her, the most difficult form of prayer, at least in regards to the clearing of the mind. The nothingness that Buddhists and others who meditate seek seemed to her the hardest thing, and it very well may be.

Years ago after becoming Pagan, I took up periodic meditation mainly as a stress reliever and centering action. I do not do it as much as I probably should, but nonetheless, I do practice in my own way. In any case, after only a short time attempting to meditate as I thought you should...the stiff posture, blank mind search for the black nothingness...I realized that it really didn't do much for me. I could clear my mind and relax after a bit, and if you have silence then, it is truly fabulous in its own way. However, I have come to realize that the most effective meditation for me is to sit and relax quietly and look at the trees, water, whatever nature is handy. Sometimes, if the need is great enough, even a flower on someone's desk or a picture is sufficient. I do not try to force thoughts away, but allow them to float through on whatever topic they wish. And I have found that after a while, the thoughts quiet down on their own, though they never disappear completely. I can compose pieces of whatever I'm writing at the time or think of what I need to do later in the day without rush and anxiety.

This type of meditation, to me, seems more difficult than the other. We constantly push thoughts and duties aside during the day. We quiet our inner voices to the point that they feel they must scream at us to be heard. Yes, we need silence, but I think outside silence is more important than that on the inside. By silencing the inner voice completely, even for short stretches, we may miss something incredible. In our search for periodic inner nothingness, blankness, quiet, we may find it, but we may also lose moments of wonder---which considering the state of the world, are too few and much too far between.

Pagan Pride

Saturday was the local observance of Pagan Pride Day, a national event celebrated around Mabon every year. It was held at the lake directly across from my house, but I did not go. Oh, I knew about it beforehand; I just didn't go.

This is not to say that I am not proud of being Pagan. On the contrary, I am extremely proud of the path I have chosen. Who wouldn't be? Most (if not all) forms of Paganism are liberal positive faiths which recognize the inherent worth of every person, regardless of sex, sexual orientation, etc. My marriage to the wonderful Anna is accepted and celebrated within its bounds. I have never (and cannot see myself ever) considered converting to any other faith. Even in my involvement with the local Unitarian Universalists was not in search of a religion to convert to, but an intellectual community of spiritual people with social justice foremost in its priorities.

So, if there is enough of a local Pagan community to hold a Pagan Pride event, why did I go searching? In churches, and covens and Pagan groups, you look for a place that not only fits with your worldview and spiritual intentions but in which you feel welcome. All of teh events I have attended have had one thing in common--I most certainly did not feel welcomed. I will probably attend the Samhain Labyrinth as I did last year because of the wonderful calm and spiritual refreshment I found. I will not however stay for the social time after the ceremony like I did last year; it would only serve to shatter the calm I gathered in the candlelight with confusion.